6 ways to respond to unsolicited design advice
Sometime last year, I got rid of my guest room. Just moved the bed to my son’s room and put his old one out on the curb with a “FREE” sign, walked away and never looked back.
The first rule of The Bold Home Club is: you create your home for YOU.
The second rule of The Bold Home Club is: you create your home for YOU.
That’s it really. I’m not big on rules, anyway. 😝
We were well into the pandemmy (almost sounds cute when you say it like that) with no end in sight so I knew we would be having a whopping 0 guests for the rest of the year. Not gonna lie, though, people were appalled that I had what on my floor plan was labeled a guest room but I wasn’t going to be using it that way anymore. And by people, I mean friends and family that stay at my house for a few days every couple years….
...which was weird because last time I checked, it was my house and I’m the one that lives here full time.
Now, I know no one meant any harm (and were perhaps just hoping I’d still have a place for them to crash when they’re in town) but it made me second-guess my decision for a hot minute.
You might even have some well-intentioned unsolicited advice-givers in your friend and family circle, too. One of the most important parts of boldly expressing yourself in your home is being able to handle the nay-sayers, having the confidence to trust the plan you’ve made (either on your own or with the help of your designer). What will you say when you someone tells you “No, you shouldn’t do XYZ because that’s not what you’re supposed to do.”?
Some of my favorite things in my home came from making choices that people with no skin in the decorating game of my home point blank told me not to do.
“You shouldn’t paint your walls white. You have kids.”
“You shouldn’t buy that table separately from the chairs. It’s a set and it needs to match.”
“You shouldn’t put in that dark carpet. You’ll regret it.”
Everything is a little easier with practice so I wanted to give you a few ideas of how to respond to unsolicited design advice while still maintaining your H.B.I.C status.
01 | “Thanks for the idea. I have my own plan for handling this.”
02 | “Thank you, but that doesn’t work for me.”
03 | “Thank you for your advice but I have a plan that works for me. I’ll ask you about it if I need your opinion in the future.”
04 | “Thank you. I’m not looking for any advice right now.”
05 | “That’s an interesting opinion, but I prefer to do it my way.”
06 | “Thank you for offering an option but I’m okay with my choice.”
It’s ok to let people know that you’re doing what you want. It’s ok to do what you want. In fact, I encourage it. The only style you have to adhere to is your own! If you’re not sure how to bring your style to life in a way that looks cohesive and intentional, solicit the advice of a designer interested in helping you create a home that reflects who you are. LIVE YOUR BEST DESIGN LIFE, BOO!
I still don’t have a guest room. But I do have a design plan of how to make better use of the space for my family and me (I recently shared it over on Instagram). Sometimes people even stay at my house. ::gasp::
If there’s anything I’ve learned about home during the past year, it’s that the ultimate #goals is setting it up for you and how you want to live, regardless of how people who don’t live there feel about it. The way I see it, my kids are lucky to have their own rooms so sacrificing that room and bunking with each other when a freak snowstorm hits Texas and I adopt my bestie and her dog is a rite of passage.